Workplace Bully Caused Me to Have PTSD

by Jeraldine

Colleague A. She is someone who tends to be insecure, childlike personality and sensitive to things.

I had a hard time working with her when she tried to keep on taking advantage of me at work. And if I don't do it, she will do the pity thing and spread rumors that I bully her at work. And she complains to my manager about my tone but the thing is my voice is like this.

I tolerated and try to tone down my voice but still it continues on and on.

As the walls are very thin and my table is near to their room. I could utterly hear what they were saying clearly, even if I do not want to hear it.

Then colleague B, she is good with words. And because A tends to be 'chatty' telling people things and makes the assumption that I am against her.

B, starts to think I am bullying A and because I am the youngest she sees me as being arrogant when I've already work here a year. My voice is mono deep tone, and it's hard for me to soften down when I'm serious at work.

And B starts to call me a bitch whenever she passes by my table.

I just tolerated it because I am not good at retaliating and was too shocked to hear.

Then one day when they called me into their room to have a gossip chat about someone's outfit etc., but I do not have the intention to listen or join them. Just randomly say a few words and left their room.

And things got worse, A starts to think that I am jealous of her but I am not and she keeps on making up rumors and B starts to continue her indirect verbal bullying against me or pick on me when they have the chance whenever there is no one around. And insulted me for bein jealous and arrogant etc. I was slow to react and could only tolerate it.

I do know that I am not socially skilled to handle this and being an introvert makes the misunderstanding worse and no matter how I tried explaining things they do not listen. Thinking I am acting pity to get myself out. I only want to do my work.

And my colleague and manager's sudden intervention makes things worse. I did not tell them what happen to me, but they know. They think they are helping me out by confronting A and B without notifying me. B start to call me a whistleblower etc.

Then A and B start to act kind and friendly towards me when everyone is around. But then when I am with them alone, they start to use indirect verbal bullying against me.

A and B tend to come over to my table to have a chat with me individually. But end up if I don't follow her instruction, advice or suggestion. She will call me names or even say things in a rude way like I am not willing to cooperate tone.

I could not take it and wanted to resign but it dragged on for months because one of my colleagues needed to undergo an operation. But as time went by, my manager started to show a hostile attitude towards me. And I realised that A was giving things to my manager. And that makes me really disappointed in my manager. I always thought she is someone who worked according to regulation and split work from personal.

My manager started to spread rumors about me saying that she helped me a lot. But in actual fact, I did not ask for any help from her since most of the time her helpfulness turns out to be a disadvantage for me in my learning and progress. And this created another rumor of me. Having a micro-managing style I was not able to have a lot of hands-on experience at work. That's another reason I want to leave. And me leaving seem like a betrayer to her kindness towards me.

During this period my work progress was affected, I could not concentrate. Due to the constant bullying acts by A and B, it ended up that I lost control of myself and fumed up and went crazy in the office. And losing control of my thoughts and speech-making things worse for myself.

Then on my last day working, my colleague who is defending herself from getting bullied told me A was acting. I could not react. Then B approach me and again gave me an indirect verbal lesson.

Due to the delay in leaving this company, I started to suffer from anxiety and PTSD. It affected me when I got myself a new job and I could not continue working.

I still could not get over this nightmare experience and it makes me want less to get in contact with any people at all. I lost confidence and my self-esteem gets lower. Going to therapy sessions doesn't help much.