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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know
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Workplace Bullies Hone In On Those With Social Anxiety And Depression


(Chesterfield)

Hi, I have been bullied in most of my jobs for over 20 years, at age 42 now and am ashamed of myself.

For years I have suffered social anxiety and depression which makes it difficult because I think people actually hone in on this and want to bully you and be rude to you.

I know that a lot of my problem is that I'm unassertive but it is very hard to change who you are. I left my last job at a local hospital due to being overworked and made to feel small by a colleague who I'm sorry to say I was scared of as she was a know it all and had been there years.

So now I'm back unemployed on ESA and scared to get another job as it will probably happen again.

I have had CBT, counselling, etc. It works for a little while then all my old ways come back as I'm too scared to change. I don't know what to do next. I'm scared of people and feel that they are judging me all the time.

Moving On From Workplace Bullying:
What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Comments for Workplace Bullies Hone In On Those With Social Anxiety And Depression

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Please Don't Be Ashamed Of Yourself.
by: Charlie At The NDC

Please PLEASE DO NOT BE ASHAMED of yourself. I work at the U. S. Postal Service in Jersey City N. J. and I tell you this because when the same kind of things that happened to me that happened to you. I felt the same way. This is how the NICKLE AND DIME PUNK, THUG, BULLIES who prey on good people like you want you to feel so they think they have power over you. It is every NORMAL, RIGHT THINKING woman or man to not want; And to avoid confrontation. And to WANT to get along with and try help other people whenever we can (God created all good people this way). I urge you to read my comments in reply to The Postal Service Has Shown They Are Above The Law by Yolanda and Hang In There Now' Your Chance about three or four stories down from yours on this web site and call the investigative reporters I got in touch with. ALWAYS REMEMBER you are special to the people who love you and GOD and NONE of those people will ever make you feel ashamed of yourself. THOSE PEOPLE are usually ashamed of themselves and can't be happy unless they can make other people miserable. You and your family have my very best wishes for a blessed holiday season GOOD LUCK AND GODS SPEED Charlie
Charlie NDC
by: Chesterfield

Thanks Charlie for your comments, you have made me feel that I am not alone in this. you are a very kind person to try and put me at ease.

I live in England but was shocked to hear about the bullying that goes on in the Postal Service in America, it is truly awful.
SOCIAL OUTCAST
by: Anonymous

Dear chesterfield,

I wish I could say that its gets better....IT DOESNT...

Somehow we are a beacon for predators. All we can do is learn from our experiences. I talk less, share less and generally lead a very spartan life.

I could write a book on the type of bosses and jobs I get. There's certain a vulnerability about us these 'demons' pick up on (sorry). Of course friends and family will always say its OUR FAULT.

I've come to the point where I literally 'pray' to GOD to remove these people from my life. I now have good, trustworthy and most of all sincere friends in my life.

I cant really control who I work with or for but I have control in my personal life and that makes a lot of difference.

Just my 1 cent.
Reply to anonymous
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your comment, it has made me realise that people will always be horrible once they know you are vulnerable. It helped me when you said that you keep things to yourself more, I will take that piece of advice with me because i know i myself have let people in on how I'm feeling and must stop doing this, the more people know the more ammunition they have against you. Thank u.
Great Insight
by: Anonymous

Hi, your insight that bullies hone in on people with social anxiety is really spot on!

I have been chronically bullied and always wondered what was behind it! Though told often that it is a lack of social skills (or social "awkwardness") on my part, I doubt it as these bullies just look for the best (weakest) victim to be aggressive with and are so outrageous that they are daring others to stop them (never do)! Really has caused me much suffering and total breakdown of motivation. Only a really strong leader totally against bullying who tells the bully "What you are doing is wrong" does it have any impact but the bully then pleads "I didn't know I was doing anything wrong..." (of course he does, he does not treat anyone he cares about in that manner!).

Very frustrating. It is deceit on the part of the bully to manipulate and fool others and get away with it. Wish I could find a better solution than documenting everything because that is really too onerous a task and generally is turned against the documenter to prove only that s/he is obsessive and wastes time.

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