What Bullying Did To Me

by lIzzy
(NJ)

My first experience with 'bullying' I didn't even know it was 'bullying' … It was 1993; a small 'trade' shop (ok; specifically printing) I was in the graphic dept; setting type aka desktop publishing. Me, female, supervisor, male and part time typesetter; also female. There was one who was simply 'arrogant' / and yes a bit of a chip on shoulder… I asked a question he gave a 'flip' reply in the guise I now assume was what he would call 'wit.' / I was brand new, new to computers, I was nervous. He didn't give me any answer and I was taken aback. NEVER experienced this rudeness before.

Long story short … first 3 years were ok…but last 3.5, I could do nothing right. But the owner kept me and I stayed. (not confident in my abilities) Eventually I was let go in unjust manner (and unprofessional).

The next two years I could always get work; but SAME rudeness in the workplaces and when I asked 'why' … basically - OUT I went.

Finally settled in to a place for 4.5 years; started part time went to 30 hours and well this place also was odd. Supervisor would curse her ex husband on the middle of work floor and no management said a word. She complained of getting obscene phone calls… had her number changed and 'her number' became mine. (Everyone on the home front said that was EXTREMELY nasty… just plain nasty… poor business.) Again; eventually I got a finger wave to my face as if I were a child. I asked why (true; just asked why… and out I went) YES, there was a general COLDNESS felt.

Then one more place 2007 til 2010…constant berating, calling me 'missy' by a co worker with office (didn't report direct to her) she would speak directions as she walked out the door of dept, she'd give wrong directions and she would SCREAM, literally SCREAM, in my face (poor, very poor). She had me so nervous… when I finally again spoke 'why' …OUT they cast me.

Bottom line…it really took from 2000 to 2014 to understand all of this and 'why me' / WHY? because this nation America; DOES NOT know GOD. They are out for self and 'the buck' and I have surmised THEY ARE RUDE AND BITTER and lovers of money. I would think it was 'nothing' BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE…in fact; all of it TOOK AWAY my TRUST in GOOD HUMANITY. I let them do that to me and that wasn't good. Because of it; the last few years of interviewing I was skeptical of interviewers and was judging them in all they said. I BELIEVE NOW that I might have found other work one year after being let go, but I didn't want to be hurt again and probably said wrong thing… in 4 different cases.../ bullying can demoralize a GOOD PERSON (AND I AM GOOD).

It's subtle and sometimes blatant and IT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED.

I am mid 50's and should still be working, but lack of trust made interviews SO DIFFICULT. RUDE AND IGNORANT folk… probably prematurely ended my working ever again and there's not a thing that can be done. IT IS A RUDE world.