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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know
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Stalked and Bullied

For the past two years I have been tormented. I work in the tech sector and the bully is an ex-colleague. Somehow she found out where I live and started to spread malicious rumours against me. Ever seen the movie Gone Girl and realise how deceptive some people can be? She's like that! At the same time she started a campaign within the company, in the Administrations department, far from where I would take notice. Administrations is also the network to other departments. Go figure. As rumours spreading within the neighborhood begun to take hold of me, inside the company another thing was brewing. By the time it got to colleagues close to me, matters has been set. Since everyone is talking about it, it must be true. Power's in the numbers right? From time to time, I'd get the face up mock, taunts, and f*u looks. Just as things appear to die down, she and other people will fabricate another rumour. Soon I'm everyone's punching bag.

I have not hated technology so much 'til this event. One day some colleagues secretly took photos of me with their cell phones. They started circulating them so everyone becomes aware of what I look like. The thing is they'd do it covertly, so I'm not able to find traces. How I know? I started getting strange exchanges from people I've never met before within the company for no reason. Some of them from other departments. Things started to blow up from this point. Thanks to FB check-in, they've also managed to screw me at places I go to relax. Got hold of some FB friends to follow their campaign. Soon they've gotten hold of some of my routines. Bank I go, where I go for cinema, where I shop, etc. They'd form a little network, like neighborhood watch, that inform each other of my whereabouts. Spread the same shit to my friends list. My life is a total mess now. I've shunned from going outside just to avoid anymore of these unnecessary confrontations.

Because she is an ex-colleague, I've never managed to face her upfront. She does everything through her minions who still work there. And they'd be all covert and innocent about it.

So as I've had it, I decided to move on to another job in a nearby city. I don't know how she's doing it but she managed to pull the same shit against Administrations there. Are people just willing to believe anything these days!? People that her minions knew at the new company started to pick up on the rumours. And once again I'm in HELL. Did I mentioned that I moved and she managed to figure out my new address as well? Pyschotic! Never had I imagine how dark humanity can be! I'd like to refrain from saying I'm going insane but the whole thing really is driving me insane.

If you all would like to know the reason why'd she be doing this, it's because I refused her love. I'd never realised that anybody can take it so harshly. I already knew she had some emotional problem and that's why I refused. My life will never go back to normal again.

Comments for Stalked and Bullied

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I commismerate with you, here's why
by: Anonymous

I understand somewhat what you are going through. I have been cyberstalked since 2006. Cyberstalking is against the law, but how to prove it.

So sorry you are having this experience, but the internet is a new toy that can be used to harm people, it seems. My stalking got so bad that I've thought of having my name changed.

In my stalking, it began after I moved out of state. This person or persons were determined to keep hounding me. Someone posed under my brother's former Yahoo messenger account that he hadn't used in years, only I didn't know this and thought I was talking to him. Thankfully I only made general comments. Contacted him a few days afterward, he said he hasn't used that Yahoo Messenger for three years.

Gossip was the start of my problems too.

I now use a program called Zen Mate so I can check my email in peace. It does not transmit my exact IP address. The program is available if you use Mozilla Firefox as your browser. It is an add-on.

I have thought of talking to law enforcement, but I almost know they'd tell me it is too hard to prove (in my situation). Now in your situation, I wonder, have you ever talked to an attorney? But the only thing about that is, if she knows she is getting to you, she could increase the gossip. You might want to consult with a law enforcement geek of some kind, if you can find one--I never could, so you find out how to protect yourself better.

It is very bad when someone like me (or you) is harassed to the nth degree so much, that I'd considered a name change and learning how to disappear. Contacting the background companies online that people use to get info on others. I made a list of them, contacted them all, and gave them a police report number and asked for my name and information to be withdrawn completely. With some of the companies online, this worked. Others, were slow to comply or stuck me back in the databanks again, and I wrote them again. Every year I do this. It's annoying, but makes me feel like there is something I can do to prevent these people from tampering with my life, and they have. I even have a ten year fraud alert on my credit too.

If you find something that helps your situation, please share it here again. I hope to come across it so I can use some of the things you've found to help yourself.
original poster
by: Anonymous

Thanks for replying! I will certainly look into your advice. I'm currently trying to stand it through. There's no way I'm leaving my job without a fight. I've already won half the battle by not giving in. Although it's been 2 tortuous years. It's tortuous mentally, especially, when you're the only one suffering. I've even had superiors I once trust lie directly to my face. It's amazing how individuals could be sensible and a group be stupid, insensitive, and immature. Thank goodness it's not everyone.

Some of the things I've learned. Do not call out your bullies directly. They are deceitful enough to turn people against you certainly they will deny everything. It's been 1.5 years at this company now. The whole situation has endured 2.5 years. Every month they've got something juicy against me. Amazing!

Assure yourself that not everyone is dumb. Be more approachable and sincere. Even to the wrong crowd. I know, I hate this part. But people around you will eventually realise something's wrong. It's best for them to realise you are being bullied and not call out on it.

I've made the mistake of being direct and people thought I was accusing them of following on the act. True but people don't like to be bad guys. Everybody likes to be praised (feel good).

Do file complaints to superiors but make it minimal. If they are resourceful, it should take only the first complaint to get things to an end. Be professional about it. Otherwise, they won't take it serious. All future complaints should be condoned in a manner where you could track and record to be presented in court of law, if needed. Meaning situations are getting ridiculous.

Make it knowledgable to those around you that you noticed something wrong. Otherwise, they certainly won't approach you directly about what they've heard. Trust me, bullies will make all efforts to try to get to your circle. Same as above, don't make it direct. You'll want your allies to approach you on the matter. If you ask directly, they won't say shit!
original poster
by: Anonymous

Well, I'm not sure how long it's been since my previous comment. Three months maybe. Just when I thought situations were getting better, they were actually brewing to get worst. If the attacks have been going on for this long, be certain they won't let off easily. Things just get more violent when they see situations turning better for you. One thing to be certain, never complain about your peers even though they've enacted to make your life miserable as well. Complaints spread. You don't want to make more enemies! It's about you and the offender. It's about you and the original lies. Don't mention who you think knows what and what unless you're absolutely certain they will back you up. That actually makes situations worst if they only think of themselves. Don't mention who you think are neutral in the situations. They'll be the next camping ground for attackers. Sometimes management is absolutely clueless and make matters worse by sharing your discussions with others.

It's all about public relations. But for an individual singled out that's really hard to address. We don't have a group of staff like politicians and celebrities working their ass off for this.

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