Scapegoated At Private Company Where Manager Is King Of His Kingdom

by elizabeth 123
(New York City)

Dear Out There, I am at the end of my rope. I am employed by a man who has humiliated me and degraded me in front of co workers to the point that I have become as isolated as if my desk had an invisible wall around it.

One person in my company did dare to text me that I am his scapegoat and I am in my own ghetto but nobody in the company will defend or stand up for me. They are all cowards.

The problem began when I started to work for him I felt very unworthy and felt I deserved his treatment but over the last few years something has happened to me to make me realize that I don't deserve his abuse and my behavior shows that I don't deserve his abuse.

My background has a lot of physical and verbal abuse in it so when I started to work for this man it was very familiar. There are no other jobs for someone my age. I have worked for him for many years. His abuse changed over the years, but in the last few months he has threatened to fire me which he never did before.

I am anxious and depressed. He does not let me go home every night until he has a nightly degrading session or what he calls "meeting" every night so I get home at ungodly hours so I never get enough rest.

I am starting to get sick more often from not taking care of myself. I am afraid I will get really sick because of all this and I have nobody to rely on. I have no family and no friends. All my friends abandoned me as they said I did not have the courage to leave this job. I told them if they are so bold then find me a job instead of accusing me of cowardice. I have no support network.

This is a private firm so there is no human resource department. He is the king of his kingdom. He is also Persian and not Americanized and he has surrounded himself with women who behave like whores. I, quite the opposite, do not act sexual in anyway. That makes his harassment even worse. He tries to bring up sexual conversations and I decline to participate. I work in a Middle Eastern nightmare and not an American company.

I feel hopeless. So I will send this out into the universe. I don't expect there is any solution or way out for me and I cant afford to quit. I don't know what I am looking for from sending this but I never put it down on paper so this time I did.