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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know
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Punched at Work

by Barb
(NYC, NY)

I'm a middle aged woman and have been working with my company for 8 1/2 years. My boss's admin has been trying to intimidate for the last two months. We used to be friendly.

In August we were in the hallway talking about a TV show we both like. Someone was coming down the hallway and she had her back to him. Since we were in the middle of the hall way I said - watch out. My meaning was I wanted us both to step aside to let him pass since we were taking up the space in the hall and no one could pass us. She took offense to that. Started yelling at me. I tried to explained myself and she stormed off. Later on in the day I went over to her and spoke to her. We each explained ourselves. She told me she doesn't move over for anyone and I said I was just being polite. She suggested we agree to disagree. We shook hands on that and I thought the matter was resolved. I took the high road and was nice to her. She would ignore me unless someone else was around. She would glare at me and tried staring me down when she saw me. I continued to ignore it and continued to be pleasant to her.

Then on Monday morning we were on opposite sides of a glass door. I stepped aside to let her through first - which I would have done regardless of who was on the other side of the door. She opened the door and her face contorted and she hit me on my hand. My arms were down and my hands were at my side. I was taken aback and said "you just hit me" her response was "I have no idea what you're talking about" and walked away. The receptionist was there but when I asked her about it she said she was looking at her computer screen and didn't see what happened.

My question is should I try to reason with her, report her to management or let it go. I think she is emotionally disturbed and fear her behavior will escalate if I say something.

Comments for Punched at Work

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Punching is wrong!
by: Anonymous

The past couple of years I've had some new insights on bullying since there seems to be such an increase. I believe some of it is now caused by the inordinate use of psychiatric drugs prescribed by doctors. I read that even 6 out of 10 children are now on them.

It is often not made public but the use of these drugs causes permanent damage to the brain. When two lifelong friends suddenly turned on me and became belligerent, bullying and "dumped" me, I learned they both had started taking these drugs. Now when people attack me like that, I figure they are on some type of drug, the damage to the brain is done, they no longer have remorse or a conscience, and there is no point lingering in their life. If possible, I physically stay as far away from them as possible, avert my gaze and move on to something pleasant. In a work situation, it is more difficult but if possible, get away from her.
To the punch
by: Lizzy NJ

Should you 'tell management'?' Unfortunately, it is not that type of world anymore where you as a general worker can speak to 'an authority person' to intervene FOR YOU.

They the authority will see you as a WEAK person who needs 'mama and dada' to fight your battles. YOU are your own authority. Internally; THE AUTHORITY is IN YOU…not outside of you. If you have any faith understanding; you will understand this.

So…what would that inner authority tell you to do? He who was scourged, speared, nailed to a cross, spit upon, mocked, and crowned with thorns? He would say: FORGIVE THEM FATHER they 'know not' what they do. (and they really don't) When souls are not in communication with authentic good; but self absorbed, they NEVER see their ways. Truly, THEY only see the same anger they have in them. They don't know what kindness, mercy, or compassion is. They see such as 'weaknesses.'

FORGET THE INCIDENT. Be friendly to this one on her terms. If you need to work with her but NOT a lot…and you have any other person there you know well…MAKE IT A POINT never to be ISOLATED. Always go to lunch WITH someone, eat lunch with someone in lunch room, or EAT outside of the office, if you know the time schedule of this one…when she comes to work, come in 10 min. before and be already at desk. If she goes to lunch one time; you go another time. Do not speak ANYTHING to this one about ANYTHING but what is of work.

And unless you ABSOLUTELY love your work; start looking now for a new employer. (even PART TIME…have a part time job as well as FULL TIME job you have now. It will give you self confidence you won't be without.

This one is IGNORANT of social graces, insecure, probably has troubles in her personal life and she is looking to 'take it out on' an easy target.

So… FORGIVE HER; and have a compassionate love for her that goes beyond your need for love from her. When she yells at you; figuratively put a mirror in front of you and realize she is YELLING 'at her own self' (because that's what she is doing) Just as when we KNOW love (God) we treat others with same love we experience in life. Nasty folks have never experienced LOVE…they are KNOW NOTS.

Treat them tenderly…but STAY OUT OF THEIR WAY… except when necessary, and DO NOT say a word to management. She's permitted to do what she does 'perhaps' because she offers a business 'tax credit' status for some reason. And that's ALL they respect in her (the dollars she adds to the bottom line)

By showing EXTREME care and compassion as she yells; THE WALLS that have eyes and ears will one day reward you. Use her ways to your best advantage. WITH THE STRENGTH of that internal authority you have. NEVER NEVER NEVER ask EXTERNAL AUTHORITY to 'do something' (you will be perceived as a child)
They don't hire children and you will be terminated and perhaps MARKED as damaged goods to any employer.

RISE ABOVE…find NEW EMPLOY on your own if it is SO BAD.

Leave them 'IN THE DUST'
Punchy by drugs?
by: LIzzy NJ

To the commenter that believes bullying is because of the effects of psychiatric drugs on brain…

I offer; you are in right 'ballpark' but miss the point. If in fact, bulies are taking psychiatric drugs; it is with REASON or they would not be prescribed the meds.

Depression, Anxiety, Manic Depressives, Obsessive Compulsive, all types of ailments of personality.

It's not the drug or the ailment but THE CAUSE of these ailments.

Our society has lost the sense of SPIRIT; which keeps one at peace and happy. (i.e.; if all one see's is 'this life' … one is going to be VERY angry, depressed, anxious for 'the things this world offers'

Bullying is dominant in persons because GOD (a Spirit) is MISSING in ACTION. GOD is missing when sins are very much present in all aspects of society living.

Connect the Dots.
It's more than likely addicts at fault
by: Anonymous

I agree with the comment on drugs, however the drug most often overlooked is alcohol, and also street drugs play a major role here. See the preventragedy dot com site and click on the link "Do you know an addict?" Normal people do not bully but addicts often do as a way to exercise control over others - this is done as a means to inflate the ego of the bully-addict. The site has a lot of good information, suggest you also read the books by the author, which are short reads but very informative.

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