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Promotion Problem

Hi everyone. I'm just new to this forum but I was hoping for some advice. Sorry, this is a bit long winded!

I was promoted last month but had to transfer to a location further away in order to accept it. I was given no other choice by our HR department. I then through a friend, contacted someone else who was in the same position as myself, as I needed a lift to this new location at least on a temporary basis.

My new colleague agreed which was great and so I officially accepted the position. After 2 weeks I proposed the idea of doing the car share on a longer term basis, and fully explained that she shouldn't feel obliged and I didn't mind if she said no. I also offered money for fuel of course. She then said that she had other commitments and would sometimes have to leave a bit earlier on certain occasions. I told her not to worry about that and that it would be my responsibility if she was off to get my own transport. After explaining this, she was fine with the idea. On several occasions since this, I mentioned about fuel money but she has refused to state an amount or accept money for the meantime (this was about a week ago).

On Wednesday I left the office for 10 minutes and when I came back she made a huge point of having to go home at a certain time because of me to another colleague, despite the fact I've told her that I'm pretty flexible. The other colleague who also passes my house the way to work now ignores me and only speaks to me to ask a work related query. It's almost like she's on the defense in case I ask her for a lift home. It appears to me that my car sharing colleague has been voicing her dislike of the arrangement to others and they in turn are belittling me. I don't know why she didn't just say it to me. I have been talking to my HR manager but it seems there is no opportunity for a transfer elsewhere and my only way out would be to demote myself. As of next week I have decided to use public transport to get to work and although it takes much longer, I would definitely prefer it to this current situation. How should I approach this issue? demotion? should I say anything to my colleagues?

Thanks for reading.

Comments for Promotion Problem

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Don't make the spark into a flame!
by: Anonymous

Buy your ride a bunch of flowers and a gas card.(don't be cheap about it, but don't get crazy either) Thank her for helping you out and that it meant alot to you, especially since you where just settleing into the new job. If she ask how your getting to work, tell her the truth and tell her that you don't mind the transit because it gives you the opportunity to catch up on some much desired reading. Don't get yourself in a knot over this. Some people say yes because they don't know how to say no. I wouldn't be surprised if she ask you the odd time if you'd like a ride.
After about a month of you doing transit, post a notice up on the lunch room board (don't all lunch rooms have one?) That way if someone really wants to do it, they will get in touch with you. Be clear about the arrangements and money up front.
Good luck!
Getting a ride
by: Anonymous

It seems giving you transport was a burden to the coworker. You didn't accept her excuses and reason not to do it as "No". She was talked into doing it for two weeks and then you extended it. You offered money but never gave it. She felt she had to rearrange her schedule to accommodate you and it was a further burden. ...Don't know why you went to HR. The other employees didn't want to give you transport to and from work and it's their choice. It's good you took responsibility to find your own transport. Advice is to follow what other commenter said and give flowers and money and otherwise repair the relationship with the coworker.

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