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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know
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My Daughter Got Suspended After She Stood Up To Her Bullies

by Jennifer
(NJ)

My daughter is an A student and is on honor roll. She has been being bullied by 2 girls since the beginning of 6th grade. We brought it to the attention to the principal 2 weeks before school let out for the summer. He had said there is no reason to fill out a complete report because school was just about to let out.

She is now in 7th grade and in middle school. Not only are the 2 girls continuing, they have brought other girls to threaten to beat her up, harass her in the hallways, and make fun of her appearance and the soccer team she plays for.

The bullies had contacted my daughter through social media and were threatening her again. My daughter defended herself on the texting and stood up for herself. She was very upset and just wanted these girls to leave her alone. My daughter had used foul language on the texts, although it was completely wrong for her to do so, I completely understood her reasoning.

When she finally went to the principal, with her own phone as proof of the bullying by the bullies, she voluntarily handed her phone to the principal, knowing the derogatory language was on there. Before hearing all of the facts they handed out a 1 day of in school suspension. We are appealing the decision.

My question is, is there anything that states while being a victim of bullying that the victim cannot stand up for themselves in a non violent way? She did not threaten them, she used the language as nouns and adjectives, with this ISS, it takes away her goals she is shooting to because now she has a disciplinary record of this 1 and only incident and she is the victim.

Please help! Is there anyway I can prevent the suspension if the appeal does not go in our favor. And she feels that she is being punished more then the bullies because she looses the 4 goals she has been shooting for because of this action from the school.

Comments for My Daughter Got Suspended After She Stood Up To Her Bullies

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Press the issue
by: Paul of Q

I think you need the local paper to become involved. You need a hot-to-trot journalist to look into it.
Don't give up
by: Anonymous

I googled bullying in NJ and found many sites and information of past incidents. Here is one...
http://www.bullypolice.org/nj_law.html
There is a lot of resources for NJ.
Unbelievable
by: Ericka

Dear Jennifer, I am so sorry to hear that your baby girl is being punished for standing up for herself. I feel every ounce of your pain as well.as your daughter's pain. As a parent we strive for our kids to excel. My advice is contact the Superintendent of the school district as well as an attorney.. Get the ball rolling. I had to go above the principal's head at my daughter's school when the result of her being bullied was not handled properly. It has since stopped but he is definitely under a watchful eye and my attorney is on standby if needed. I pray for you and your family to find some peace and Serenity through this ordeal. It is very sad that these school officials are so oblivious to the fact that BULLYING is an ongoing issue that needs to be addressed Immediately! God Bless you.
NJ
by: lizzy

First; bullying is wrong. Period. No matter from the victim or the the one's who 'started it.' Verbal profanity 'is wrong' and not the way to honor the spirit that is primarily with your daughter. For this reason, your daughter must also face her punishment. She was wrong to use foul language. The good news is: she will learn the lesson of that, her bullies probably will not.

Second; if this situation was so bad for a full year in sixth grade; and it was never reported until the end of the school term, it does lose some credibility. The principal was right to let it pass, hoping that 7th grade would see a more mature spirit in all, your daughter and the bullies. (wise move)

Third; take your daughter OUT of that system. Go to a religious school (there's one specific denomination that has such or go to a private school or MOVE)

You can't make bullies change; not even nasty CHILDREN.

Change your own self and your daughter. Change schools, change her as a person; teach how to stand up for oneself in a gracious manner (full of grace) Either ignore the bullies or befriend them 'a bit' …show no reaction to their literal words but act on the spirit of what they say. They taunt her A's …have your daughter give them a compliment of something good they do (anything)) Be sincere. They taunt her looks; have her LAUGH at herself and say "oh yea; I'm so ugly when I was born the doctor slapped my mother' ….I LIKE YOUR COOL fashions (or hair or jewelry…I wish I knew how to…set the hair like that, where to get that jewelry, jeans, etc….

By the way; if you want I can show you how to ace that math test Tuesday….meet me at (public pizza place out in open; near home) and I'll share how….we each buy our own pizza or soda. OK? THEN WALK AWAY …head in air.

That's how you stand up to A BULLY. By knowing your own worth INTERIORLY.

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