by Lizzy NJ
(NJ)
How to deal with a "bully" (nasty sort, intimidator) "turn the other cheek" / which means (THIS was a tough hurdle to get over; as I was taught …authority handles everything that is difficulty…we do not 'make waves' with those we work with. NOT SO anymore. I was taught (or brainwashed) that worker is to be subordinate and trust authority…and that good authority does want to know when there is any form of difficulty in doing the job hired to do.
NOT SO ANYMORE. Knowing 'the wounded worker' mindset that is NOW … who do not know God or Good Authority ways nor respect that authority 'in us' / we must go direct and speak direct to the enemy of good behavior. We don't come down to their way of speaking; we are gracious and 'with mind' to teach they who are know nots. (even if they do know what they do) We assume they are truly ignorant of social graces.
SPEAK IT DIRECT 'graciously' / using the bullies own 'weapon tactic' -- we wait til the external authority they 'see' is out of room… then we approach 'brother or sister' (when they have not their support system) …Excuse me; I am a bit perplexed by your response about 15 minutes ago…can you explain why ….DON'T come down to their level. Never raise voice, speak graciously, start with praise even…but DO NOT FALL FOR THE EMOTIONALISM that a low class bully is about. (they in using emotions to intimidate are but instruments of the evil one…mature people (adults) NEVER need to raise a voice.
By going direct it is they … who will either back off and begin to respect us 'in their understanding of respect' (street respect is don't get pushed around or don't be DISSED.) They don't know 'goodness' outright…we need to show we 'know' the score. If they are personally offended by 'our firmness to them' IT IS THEY who will need to run to authority (and they do know THEY CAN'T EITHER) But if they do; and authority favors them…THEN GUESS WHAT …it will be authority who needs to address the situation (they can't ignore the complaints of some) but…they need a reason that is substantial to 'terminate' (and a gripe in this case won't do it) NEVER GET ANGRY BE GRACIOUS…turn the tables on the bully and put their back to the wall - let them complain and give reason for their complaint…'in writing' which they will not do. (so WE WIN)
Know the GAME BEING PLAYED …and somewhat play by their game rules. It is a backward world….but c'est la vie… be shrewd as a serpent and simple as a dove. A peace loving dove. NEVER A WIMP OR DOORMAT THOUGH.
This is to turn the other cheek and make our nemesis examine their own spirit.
IT'S TRICKY…but it can be done.