by Thin Lizzy (not tin lizzy)
(NJ)
So you have been bullied and YOU do know it. What is most frustrating is that of NOT being believed. Your boss doesn't believe your words, your co-workers shrug and look the other way, even if they do know what is happening. It is a ME FIRST survival mode in offices these days, you want to talk about it to immediate family... they listen at first but say a casual "you just have to get on with living" ... let it go. (It's a tough thing to let it go, because we are honest, we were doing things as we should, we want to learn so this incident won't happen again, and we want to make sure NO ONE else experiences bullying; EVER AGAIN) We were raised to place trust in good authority and now authority betrays us in favor of subjective siding with THE OTHER.
So how do we get the word out to as many as possible; so that BULLIES are exposed and in that exposure have to change their tactics (because they don't work anymore).
Reading books helps victims of bullies; but billies and management aren't going to read about workplace bullies, this website helps victims of bullies, but bullies themselves would read the stories here and laugh... not believing a word of it, some bullies even believe they are also victims.
How does one bring bullies 'out of the dark' and into the 'light' so that everyone recognizes the signs of who is a bully? How do we get the bully to recognize his ill mannered and disrespectful ways?
The only way is for those who know how to be DIFFERENT than that workplace mentality of 'going for the bucks' get outta my way... We who KNOW must be a 100 percent CONTRAST to 'the bully' ... as manipulative and nasty they are we have to be ALL THE NICER. We have to be STRONG in ways of strength that the bully has not a clue about.
The bullies idea of strength is to rant, scream, throw tantrums and give orders. (as though the worker they are speaking to is but a child and mindless and unknowing) We have to be WHAT OUR BULLLY IS NOT. We 'worker class' have to begin to LEAD by example. (which we always did but we must be 100 PERCENT without flinching) Not a word to management for help, we can go direct to the screamer and we can start talking to them, we can be SO APOLOGETIC, we can look like the submissive person they are trying to make us be... but TO OURSELVES WE KNOW 'truth' / and we are in doing all of this... TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK (not turning the cheek to be smacked again; but to turn it by not being fearful of bullies... going right up to them directly and showing THEM how adults of maturity act. Do it time and time and time again. STEEL YOURSELF every a.m. in the car with spiritual tapes, go to an early a.m. worhsip service, ask THE ONE who is really in control (before exiting car in parking lot) GIVE MY YOUR STRENGTH LORD FOR THE DAY, or help me Lord to do your will, or a favorite of mine "GUIDE ME LORD IN MY WORDS AND ACTIONS this DAY"
Whether our Bully changes...it won't matter. We 'won' where the winning really counts. (Bullies only see the here and now... but we see OUR REAL FUTURE).
Any who suffer for doing GOOD... 1st Peter 3 8-22.
HAVE A CLEAR CONSCIENCE in GOD and you have shown strength the bully only wishes they could possess.
Our world is (sorry have to use a word, that has become lost) BUT 'sin' is pervasive in our nation. And by that sin, many are insecure in themselves because the lack the presence of GOD in them. Thus we have those whose ideas of strength is physical only (anger screamed, belittling, mocking, intimidating actions, or manipulative psychological 'techniques' taught in psychology 101; which I believe they were 'taught' so as to get us 'worker class' persons to produce.
The generation of World War II had a different tactic; it was called SELF RESPECT coming from a disciplined and orderly manner of living. They of that generation respected workers because they 'once were workers' (today, many are put into positions of authority; just because of a degree) They are not humble, not self respecting so they see all as 'same as' they... bad. And (ODD it is) but they really are ranting at themselves... are angry with themselves... when they yell at the worker person. (I read; those who condemn another; are condemning themselves with the same words) Put a figurative mirror in front of them; and laugh to yourself; realizing THIS PERSON is mad 'at themselves' NOT us. They are ignorant of good. (of God and his meek, humble, patience OF THEM).
Do to others as you wish it done TO you... BY A GOD who could smack any of us down 'INSTANTLY' and yet let's us move, breathe, and have being. If we do good and show good to our enemy... (or pseudo enemy) HOW MUCH MORE GOOD awaits us... for glorifying HIM... THAT THE WORLD does not know.
AND THIS... is how we glorify God... not in words, not in preaching, but by 'taking them', correcting them directly (gently) and meekly obeying 'not them' BUT GOD.
Sound confusing but keep in mind; GOD controls it all and this bad co worker or boss... IS GOD'S TEST to us... HOW MUCH do you LOVE ME? Show me; by your actions being MY ACTIONS... teach them WHO I AM... this is why I 'hired' you here; to show this one THE TRUE WAY, TRUTH, AND LIFE of ABUNDANCE (happiness, joy, peace)
The world NEEDS us... out there; don't let that world SHOVE US OUT.
amen