Favoritism And Bullying In A Small Office

by Sabine
(Cape Coral)

This sounds pathetic and I'm almost embarrassed to talk about it, but its a true story: I work in a small office doing administrative work running a company that supports 30 individuals with developmental disabilities. I also support these individuals directly handling their finances, medical needs, behavioral issues. So its very hands-on, people oriented work. I worked round the clock in the office and with clients hands on for 2.5 years with an increasing workload, completely ignoring my personal life, and nothing to show for in reference to friendships or relationships. I was just working all the time.

I'm also European, so my work ethics and professionalism is high. This person, who had worked for us previously, 2.5 yrs ago, and who had actually trained me in my current job, was hired back to work for us at her request since her husband is sick, and she wanted to move back to FL. She is also best friends with the (husband/wife) bosses. They connect by religious bonds and she feels she is their child, they helped her financially numerous times, they feel they married her off since they were helping with the wedding issues etc. Anyhow, it was like a lost child, black princess, spoiled brat came back home. (The employers are white by the way.) She, the one who returned, was given a free house to live in (taking care of clients), a car, a job, and who knows what else, which I don't really care about. She also was offered to work in the office to help out.

From day one in the office she acted like a bully/spoiled brat, didn't accept my advice, help, rudely corrected me, when I tried to explain how something is done her response was "I know what P. wants, I'll do it that way..." she did things her way, in ways we had abandoned 2 years ago, the boss people let it go, she became more brash, any complaining from my side felt like I was small minded so I didn't say anything. Several times she rudely cut me off when I started to say something, so I just started to ignore her.

I knew this behavior would eventually backfire, against me, and it did. Group dynamics are difficult when you are up against someone in a favored position. Favoritism is the most devastating of all workplace issues. Now they have hired another one of their personal friends/favorites in the office. Its two against one, since those two people bonded right away, and I'm the odd one out. I have worked in a lot of positions and have trained people in Europe for years, this is the most awful and ridiculous experience I have ever had at work. Rudeness, bullying, favoritism, there is no healthy balance in this office anymore.

As always with new people on the job, they try to assert themselves, and in a small company they will stab anything/anybody in their way to get the bosses attention and approval. So on a daily basis I'm dealing with protectionism, separatism, rudeness, people producing their own show to look good, bypassing me to get to the boss.

The workload is divided between the three of us. I heard one of the two new people talking about a client who is on my caseload and giving advice on my client without involving me, talking back and forth loud with the boss, getting his approval on the fantastic job she is doing with my client. I went to see that client the same evening and took care of a situation just as well.

Things are happening behind my back, they talk about things I should be involved in, I am out unaware of things, and the two people in the office are gaining more influence stabbing me in the back. I am now admitting that this has caused me anxiety and possibly a form of depression because I cannot stop crying, I cannot even talk about the events at work because I start sobbing uncontrollably and hate myself for it. It has become almost impossible to go back to work for me, I get anxiety attacks when I turn in the street where the office is located, the boss even told me that I am one of their least favorite persons in the company. That did not make it easier to work there.

Talk about psychologically beating down a person. I see only one solution to my current life situation and that is to quit and make room for the two bitches from hell who have invaded my life in the rudest way. This is a women dominated workplace and I have noticed the worst catty and backstabbing behavior from these women and am pretty discouraged. I think I am a good and capable person, however these going around my back dealings are killing me. There is no openness, there is no HR person one can turn to, there is just reaction to a situation when it's almost too late and there is punishment.

Thanks for reading this, Sabine