Everyone Everywhere

I've used this web site many years ago. It helped me express myself and be heard. My story is one of success, but not without it's ill effects. I managed to stay in my work place and it was the bully that left. Since then, a few more bullies have surfaced and a few more have gone.

In my experience the process (of removal) takes a long time. I do believe that all sides have to be considered, seriously, all voices heard. Evidence is key. Witnesses seal the deal, but be careful not to over step boundaries, as you then can become the bully.

I believe some of this behaviour can be fixed at an early stage. I also believe that management is ill equipped to handle these things. They are mostly regular people like ourselves with other duties and when conflict falls in their lap they really don't know how to handle it.

I've seen them pick sides right from the start because of favouritism. I've seen them decide that such things are a personality conflict, leaving things to get worst. I've seen them do nothing.

The problem is that people who take on the role of keeping the work place a safe environment really need to know their staff. They also need to learn about the types of bullies out there. They need to learn how to listen. They need to be less opinionated. They need to be more sensitive.

This is a very serious matter. I only see things getting worst. It's everywhere you go! You see it in retail stores, the coffee shop, schools, hospitals, everyone everywhere, fighting. Perhaps we are taking are stresses and problems to work? Perhaps that is just the way of the world now?

I do know it's exhausting. I know the mental, physical and financial side effects of bullying. It's horrible.

At some point, when things got better, I was able to look at things differently. Perhaps because I was exhausted! I don't get involved as much any more. I try not to let things get to me. I tell myself, it's work, it's a pay check not my life. My LIFE begins at home and I learnt not to share that at work. It's too precious. Try to focus on something else. Get a hobby, start running, join a club, do something where other people are happy, enjoying themselves. Stay clear of grumpy nasty people, RUN the other way.

A therapist once told me to look at it this way, 'you are a house, you only have so many rooms in your house. Your house already has (for example) a wife who occupies one of the rooms, two kids who'll take two more rooms, and so on. Why are you letting the bully into your house? Kick that person to the curb, they have no business in your house.'

I wish anyone going through bullying peace and comfort.

Being Bullied at Work?
What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know