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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know
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Am I A Bully

by Emma
(Bristol)

I work at a bar and I am having trouble with a girl I work with... I will refer to her as G. I will start with G's past. She has told me she has had a bad childhood. Her mum was a drunk and smoking weed. Recently she has had cancer so G and her mum now get on. Her dad abandoned her as a child and is very rich. In G's recent life she has been raped and attacked by different men.

She has been fooling around with the chef who is engaged. Which is fine, none of my business, but it has started to go sour and I started to worry about her. When I spoke about it with her she laughed it off but made me more concerned. So I mentioned it to the line manager in private and voiced my concerns. The line manager has had a chat with her and now G has threatened to report me to the police and head office for bullying.

I don't know what to do... Am I bullying? I thought I was doing the best thing.

Comments for Am I A Bully

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some advice for you
by: Lizzy NJ

There's a biblical verse that goes if YOU are having difficulty with a 'brother' or 'sister' take 'brother of sister' aside 'in private' and talk with her; if brother or sister listens you have won them over. (brother and sister means humanity et al as we are all the family of God) If they don't listen bring two or more witnesses…aka 'the church' (not the official church; but credible persons who carry weight as witnesses to what you tried to do for this one you cared for…and by witnesses; that means they too have observed as you observe…the 3 as witness carry weight that the accused would not refute (nor can the accused attempt to intimidate '3' / one yes but three persons? RARE. In other words; don't mark yourself as a target for……………………. this girl who is now BULLYING YOU; (she knows her difficulties, wounds, and she's an angry person,and she isn't ready for 'repentance' …she's attempting to defend her ways by telling you to BACK OFF you troublemaker)

What's done is done; but I would suggest that forgetting her 'threats' (idle threats that she knows has no weight) She only said she'd go to authority because YOU went to authority over her. (KID retaliation as in nyaaah nyaaah WELL…so I'm going to 'one up you') There's nothing she has of weight to bring the police to you…but take a word of good advice;

DON'T TRY to fight this 'girl' (not woman) It is time for a new job. A better job for YOU. Don't wind up in same type of space as that which you see in this one. If you want to show her 'the way' …show her by advancing yourself; (without a word) get a job in a diner as a waitress; then take some classes and learn a skill (any skill; academic or vocational as in hairdressing, or phlebotomist (drawing blood) or pharmacy technician…

DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME with someone who won't listen to you. Life is too short. Keep her in prayer if you care about her but have NOTHING more to do with her. If she has your phone number change it, if she knows where you live, move elsewhere. Not that you fear her (although it might be a healthy fear; she sounds like a troubled person) Just use the example God has shown to you…to make your life better. (and leave this one TO GOD) You can't change her. You can't. Only God can change people…so; Listen to GOD and CHANGE your direction.

No; you don't sound like you are a bully…just get out of the bar business…and meet up with a better clientele.

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